To my neighbor who thinks it’s perfectly normal to stroll around the neighborhood basically half naked because you’re “going for a run and it gets hot,” I’m honestly tired of pretending this is normal behavior. Every morning I look outside and there you are again, walking your dog in what looks like half an outfit, acting like the rest of us should just accept it because you decided the street is your personal jogging track.
You keep saying it’s “just workout clothes,” but there are families living here who don’t need to step outside and see someone prancing around in a sports bra and shorts that barely count as clothing. When I said something to you about it today, you had the nerve to roll your eyes and laugh like I was the problem for not wanting to see you parade up and down the block like that.
So here’s your warning since you seemed to think I was joking. The next time you decide to do your little half-dressed lap around the neighborhood, I will be calling the police and letting them deal with it. I’m done pretending this is normal just because you think your morning run gives you a free pass to walk around the street like you forgot the rest of your clothes.
And when a patrol car shows up asking questions tomorrow morning while you’re standing there with your dog and your “running outfit,” don’t act shocked about it.
