The clinical setting is intended to be a stronghold of professionalism, order, and antiseptic regularity. We anticipate white coats, frigid stethoscopes, and the quiet tones of medical language when we walk into doctors’ offices. However, these typical visits frequently break down due to the junction of unpredictable bodies and fragile persons that occurs in medicine, allowing for moments of surprising disclosure, visceral discomfort, or profound absurdity. The façade of medical stoicism often collapses behind the privacy curtains of exam rooms, exposing the messy, humorous, and occasionally devastating truth of the human condition.
The specific type of worry that arises when the body does something that cannot be explained is the most frequent cause of a medical “event.” One Reddit user told the tale of a roommate who woke up to see both hands had turned a horrible, bruised shade of navy blue and went into a panic. As they hurried to seek medical attention, images of heart failure and fatal circulatory collapse raced through their heads. The patient had spent the day before breaking in a pair of fine, unwashed dark denim jeans, so the diagnostic procedure was quick. The “medical emergency” was merely a difficult transfer of indigo dye, transforming a potentially fatal worry into a chronicle of shame in the home.
Sometimes the awkwardness stems from what the mind forgets rather than what the body performs. Basic information, like whether or not one is wearing underwear, can sometimes be lost in the high-stress setting of a physical examination. One patient described the excruciating realization that they had chosen “commando” comfort that morning, completely forgetting that a physical would necessitate disrobing, in the middle of the examination. There was a palpable weight to the ensuing stillness between the patient and the doctor, a void of eye contact where both people longed to disappear into the linoleum floor.
The anxious energy of an examination might cause uncontrollable physical outbursts even in fully dressed patients. An athlete who was stressed and anxious notoriously burped inadvertently and thunderously during a tense diagnostic silence. A rare instance of sincere, shared laughter between a doctor and a patient transformed the clinical stress into a much-needed pressure valve, even though it may have been embarrassing.
But not every surprise is amusing. When the “gods in white coats” acknowledge their own fallibility, a particular type of discomfort arises. One user talked about how uncomfortable it was to sit on an examination table and see two senior doctors argue angrily and even violently about how to interpret an X-ray in front of them. Wondering whether their ribs were broken or whether they were just witnessing a professional rivalry approach a boiling point, the patient was left in a dreadful state of limbo as they watched the professionals argue.
Legendary family lore frequently includes medical disasters that occurred during childhood. As the doctor went for the forceps, a tiny plastic toy piece shot out of the child’s nostril with the power of a missile. The toddler had been sent to the emergency room for an unexplained nasal blockage. Others remember the special kind of trauma connected to motorcycle or bicycle accidents, when the humiliation of having a room full of medical students inspect a “road rash” in a particularly sensitive location took precedence over the actual pain of the injury.
